How not to burn bridges

In triggered moments at work, we’ve all thought about staging a dramatic “I QUIT” walkout. Of course, we also know that’s not the best way to go about it in reality.

Leaving colleagues and companies in a difficult place trying to find coverage for the gap you’ve left isn’t ideal. And since you’re reading this and the concept of “Brave Work” resonates with you, it’s likely that relationship-building and integrity might be practices you value. Along with that, you likely recognize that no matter how untenable a job has become, there’s a smart, kind, candid way to say goodbye (that doesn’t involve a cinematic exit).

So, how DO you move on, without burning bridges?

Keep your job search confidential.

This first one might seem obvious, but nothing burns bridges faster than your current boss finding out accidentally that you’re looking for a new job. With that in mind, don’t tell coworkers or clients that you’re thinking of leaving, and use discretion when reaching out to your network. Trusted friends and family are good bets, and many employers prefer candidates who are referred by existing employees, so quietly putting feelers out can help you get your foot in the door.

If you’re updating your online presence, take the time to turn off public notifications on LinkedIn, and review your privacy settings on social media to avoid raising red flags. Use discretion with where you share your resume, and be very selective in where you apply. In many industries, word gets out easily. When interacting with recruiters and hiring managers, tell them that your job search is confidential, so they can safeguard your privacy.

Have a plan.

We give so much thought to our initial days and weeks in a job, and relatively little to the end of the employment relationship. Having a plan in place before you quit can go a long ways towards ensuring your exit is smooth. Before you give notice, decide when you will deliver the message, what you will say, what your last day will be, and how you will support with the transition. By thinking through the logistics, you’ll soften the blow and help wrap things up on good terms.

Timing is key.

Leaving with less than two weeks’ notice is not recommended, so do what you can to provide a reasonable amount of time. If possible, plan your resignation around busy seasons and business cycles. You want to leave your former employer with enough time to find a replacement or plan coverage of your duties. Ideally, you’ll give somewhere between 2-5 weeks of notice, though if your position is a senior role, a longer notice period may be needed.

Communicate clearly.

Before you tell anyone, make sure you have ONE clear and concise departure story to share. Messaging might be simple if you landed your dream job, but if you’re leaving because you’re basically miserable, can’t stand it one more day, and don’t have something else lined up, the messaging can be trickier. In those cases, you might not tell the whole, complete truth. We’re definitely not saying to fib about why you’re leaving, but it’s wise to make sure your rationale for departure is at least the SparkNotes version of the truth. Keep your story brief, positive, and consistent. Tell your boss first, so that they don’t hear about your departure through the grapevine, and have a chance to weigh in on how you tell the rest of the team.

Work until your last day.

It’s might be tempting to slack off during your last weeks on the job. We’ve all been there – you’ve mentally checked out and already jumping ahead to the next chapter. But until you leave, you’re still on the team, and wrapping up on a good note is worth the extra effort. Take initiative to make sure projects are completed, procedures are documented, and as much knowledge transfer as possible happens. Collaborate with your employer and your coworkers, and use your remaining time to ensure whoever comes in after you can pick up where you left off as easily as possible. We recommend putting together a “brain dump” document, where everything you had to learn the hard way is written down (ideally with links, diagrams, and screenshots). Think of this as your parting gift.

Be kind.

Maybe you aren’t feeling entirely warm and fuzzy about your employer any more, but there’s nothing to be gained from leaving on a sour note. Even if the job sucked in the end, and your manager was terrible, there were still things you learned, and still people and aspects of the position you’re likely sorry to be leaving. Focus on the good parts, and stay positive and grateful about the things that went well. Express appreciation for your coworkers and boss where warranted (while remaining authentic) and participate in goodbye activities graciously.

 Stepping outside of your comfort zone to leave a job can be tough, and it’s even harder if you’ve been in your job a long time or your social life is entangled with your work life. Being intentional and strategic with your departure can go a long ways towards maintaining positive professional relationships moving forward.

If you are leaving (or thinking of leaving) your current job and could use support with your exit strategy, reach out! We’d love to help make your transition a smooth one.